Relationships of Love

What is Love? 

Love is a relationship with the other. 

Simple.

The quality of relationship obviously depends on the quality of the mind, isn’t it?  Suppose, if the mind is dishonest, then what kind of relationship will it have with others?  Dishonest.  If the mind is suspicious and doubtful, then what kind of relationship it will have?  Suspicious relationships, right?  A lonely mind would be clinging and latching on to others.  The mind that is hurt and painful will surely hurt others. 

Similarly, if the mind is peaceful, relaxed and contented, then, it will only have a loving relationship with others. A peaceful mind is also called as a healthy mind. Only a healthy mind can have healthy relationship with others. 

In order to have quality relationship with others, first, the mind should be qualified.   

The mind at ease with itself is qualified for love.  

Most of us are not at ease with ourselves.  We find faults with ourselves. We think that we  are worthless and inadequate.  We feel guilty.  We are very critical with ourselves. I should not have done this.  I am stupid, good for nothing. I am mean. I am lazy. Such are our inner dialogues.  Actually, we don’t  like ourself as we are. We are very uncomfortable in our own company.  We are violent not only to others, but to our own mind.

How can I have a healthy relationship with you if I’m not healthy? Is it possible? Is it possible that the mind is diseased, but the relationship is healthy? Is it possible?

If I don’t have a good relationship with myself, how is it possible to have a good relationship with others? 

To put it simply, to love the other is to have a healthy relationship with the other. And for that the mind must be healthy in itself. Are you getting it?

Do you get now what love is? A healthy mind. The relationships of a healthy mind are called love; the relationships of a healthy mind are loving relationships. Isn’t it so simple? It’s not complicated. It’s not something that you can never understand. It’s so simple that you want it to be a little more complicated; it’s so simple that you find difficult to enter it.

Ignorance, Fear and Love - Three levels of Relationship.

When we are taking about relationships, we are not only talking about relationship of man and woman, it includes everything.  Relationship is our very state of mind. Relationship means, how am I relating to my parents?  How am I relating to my neighbors?  How am I relating to my books?  How am I relating to the food?  How am relating to the pet animals?  How am I relating to the trees? I am in relationship because every point in time, we are relating with others.

What is the basis of these relationships?

There are three kinds of basis.  

1. The lowest level, materialistic.
2. The second level, animalistic.
3. Love: The highest, Pure love. 

The materialistic level:  

This is the way iron relates to magnet, there is a certain relationship, but it is a totally dead relationship. Does the iron piece know why it is attracted to magnet? No. But, still it gets attracted. Similarly, one is attracted to the other for no reason. At certain age, sexual attraction happens.  They don’t know why they are attracted.  

Staying in the same house for years together, man and woman get attached to each other, babies are born, yet, there is no understanding, there is no real love between them.  This is the lowest level of relationship where both the parties do not understand what is happening.  

The Animalistic level:

The second level of relationship is called animalistic where you are relating because you  need something from the other or because you are afraid.  Have you seen how animals are relate to each other? You show a piece of bread, the dog will come to you.  The male dog runs behind bitch for the greed of sex. The animal is attracted only by fear and greed.  If a relationship exists because you want something, then this relationship belongs to animal nature.  

Relationship based on love:

A relationship based on love is a relationship free of conditions and expectation.  I am joyful, I don’t need anything from you, yet I am with you.  I won’t demand you to become something.  

A relationship based on love will liberate, will set the other free.  It will not impose conditions.

Love does not say that if you do this, only then you are my son. 

Love does not say that  I have invested so much in you, now you have to repay it by being obedient. 

Love does not say that I will be with you only if you marry such and such a girl. 

These are not symptoms of love.

Have beautiful relationships,  but also do not forget to investigate the basis of those relationships. 

Ask yourself these questions and find out answers.

• Why do I go to school or college or office?   Want to get marks, want money?   
• Why do you get married?  Want protection, safety afraid of society?
• What is my relationship with God?
• Am I afraid of something wrong may happen or do I want to get married, get a job etc., 
• How do I relate to the mobile phone? 
• How do I relate to the servant maid?
• What kind of relationship I have with my kids? 
• How am I relating to this page right now I am reading?  
• What is my relationship with the environment?

Note: Share your reflections.