Judgements - Write them with a temporary marker

Listening to the  knowledge  opens up new dimensions and avenues. This is the skill of a Master.  He knows where we are stuck and he uplifts us gently and beautifully, isn't it?   We understood that we are stuck in ideas and concepts. Our judgements are our ideas and concepts only.  we are bit confused about how to move in life with out ideas and concepts.  It's true.  We are accustomed to live through our ideas all these years.  

Do you know the difference between a small baby (6 months or 1 year) and an adult?  A baby does not have any words.  All that we have is only words and words and words.  That's why a baby is innocent, joyful and pure.  In the process of growing, we started learning words.  Thinking is nothing but words. Ideas and concepts are nothing but words.  Can you think without words? its Impossible. Whatever we see, hear or touch, immediately we will name it and we start believe that we know that.  Do you know a Rose?  Of course, you would say, "Yes, I know".  But, you don't know what it really is.  Only you gave a name to that form.  Do you see that Knowing is different than Thinking?

We develop ideas and concepts through our experiences.  One day you were travelling in a bus to Madurai.  Suddenly, somebody picked your pocket Rs.10000/- and ran away.  A thought came, "All Madurai people are bad".  This is an idea. (you could have thought that I have to be careful while travelling in bus,  but, you didn't!!)   Suppose, if you happen to meet somebody from Madurai afterwards, your perceptions will be different.  You may remember the theft and link that with this Madurai guy.  You may want to be careful with him.  See, how our concept overshadows the truth!   We don't see the reality as it is because of our ideas and concepts.  We see this world only through our past experiences, not really as it is, isn't it?

Some people believe that their God is the only God. This one concept has made them so stiff, that they find it very difficult to accept people with other religions.  If we can't accept other person as he or she is,  to love and respect them is not possible.  That's why people are fighting in the name of religion.  The root cause of violence in the world is holding on to our ideas and concepts so strongly.  In Naradha Bhakthi Sutra, Naradha advises, "If any words from the scripture is contradictory to love, Be indifferent.  It has been told to some set of people, in a particular situation. Love is supreme.  Follow Love."  

Our judgement about objects and people are only concepts.  If we have a concept that 'SONY' is the best TV, however better TVs available in the market, we will choose only SONY.  Our concepts don't allow see things clearly.  This world is changing constantly. People are changing.  Situation is changing.  But, we don't change our idea about people and situation.  

Concepts makes us vulnerable. Even a small scratch on our concepts could be painful. I read this from a book -  long ago, people believed that the earth was flat. When few scientists came up with the idea that the earth is not flat, it is round, they could not accept them. Even some of them were killed. Just think, if we are able to empty all our concepts and ideas from our head, who are we?  Nobody... We are living as if we are our concepts!!! Do you see what I am saying?  

In day today life, we judge people only with their words and behaviours. Words and behaviors are very superficial.  A professional actor or actress can say beautiful words, smile nicely, express love or anger perfectly,  are they true?  A mother shouts at her child, "Get lost, I don't like to see your face" in anger.  Is it true?  Does it mean that the mother does not love her child?  We have seen that often our judgements fails and we regret later on.

We take decisions in every step of our life for which we have to judge people and situation.  Even to buy apples, we need to judge whether they are good or bad.  We can't say,  I don't have any idea about it.  We need to judge our company too.  

No doubt, judgements are necessary in day today life.  But, do not keep them permanent.  Let us write them in our mind's board with a temporary marker, not with a permanent marker. We can erase at any time and write new things on it.  The Universal law of nature is, "Everything is changing".   As time passes, our perception changes. As we mature, our opinions change, we  look things in a different way.  If we are rigid with our ideas, we cannot grow.  Let us be light with our judgements.  

Our vibrations and Presence convey more than words.   Lack of Presence leads to lack of communication. Presence means being in the present moment.  Total attention... Total acceptance....Honoring...

Surface and the Depth

One fine day, a little wave decided to find peace.  Everyone said that it is available in the ocean, but it is not easy to find it.  It looked here and there, going from one place to another place, doing this and that...More the effort, more movement, more agitation... what to do?  Where to go?  The wave wanted something to feel happy,complete, fulfilled, but "wanting more" itself means, I am not happy and complete.  What a paradox?!!!  The wave became very miserable.

One day, it heard a voice saying, "Relax...Be quiet..Look with in.".  The wave trusted the voice.  It slowed down...again and again came back to sit still...wanting nothing...hating nothing... interested in nothing...doing nothing...be quiet, slowly moving with in...finally touched its own depth...a new dimension of it's own self..Silence everywhere...so peaceful...blissful.  It was so amazing that it wass no more a wave, but a part of Ocean, so big, magnanimous, complete and full.  No lack.  Turned back to see, what about the other waves?  They are part of this big ocean, they are part of Me...No difference at all...All belong to me. What a great wonder!

Wisdom is to see the unity in diverse forms...
Belongingness, Love and respect dawns.
This is Divine abode!

I am different.. you are different...
I am right...you are wrong...
Selfishness, Fear, Jealous, hatred, attachment, ideas and concepts arise...
This is our world...all ignorance.

We can't rest as long as there is two.  Two is always struggling.  Whether we love someone or hate, want something or don't want something, both will not allow us to rest..to be at ease.

To know that there is no two is the only way to relax.
Rest and relax to know that there is no two!
Feeling one with the other in spite of the differences..
That is true Love.
Love is God.
Knowledge of Self alone can bring that love with in us.

This world may look turbulent and horrible like the surface of the ocean..
Let us not be afraid...
It's only superficial...
Deep inside it is all pure and sacred.
Oneness, quietude, love and harmony...

Ocean has been like this in the past, will be like this in future.  It cannot be devoid of waves. World cannot be with out problems.Difference is the nature of world.  Oneness is the nature of Self. Disturbance is the nature of the world. Comfort is the nature of the Self. Let us become intelligent to look at the Ocean beneath all the waves. One divinity beneath all the qualities.  One space behind all the objects.  One life behind all beings. One Truth behind all the events.

We are vast like Space, deep like ocean, temporarily in a disguise as a limited wave.

Let us play skillfully.  Life is nothing but the celebration of the ocean.

Desire is the feverishness of Mind

We got  introduced to Gowthama Budha, probably in 7th or 8th grade. We had a lesson about 'Budha' in our History book. It was told that Budha left his home to find truth. After doing penance and meditation for several years, he got enlightenment under the Bodhi tree. All that we knew about Budha's teachings was, Budha had said, "Desire is the root cause of misery". That's all.In that age, I thought that 'Desire' means 'Greed'. Thieves are greedy people. If they loot or plunder, police will catch them and give punishment. They will suffer. This is misery. So, we should not be greedy. This was my simple understanding about Budha's statement! :)  After all, we children desired for nice food items, one more new pen, a new geometry box(we managed to finish school studies with only one geometry box!), a movie once in a while, good marks,of course... that's all.  Life was so simple.  I had no problem with 'Desires' or may be I was not conscious about it. I completely agreed with Budha.

A recent survey says that a child smiles 400 times a day, youth smiles only 18 times.  Adults may or may not smile! We lose our smile as we grow old, isn't it? Still, I could not fully understand, how desires could be the reason for my misery. I thought that I am suffering because of some people or situation. If at all they change(as I desire!!??), then I will be happy.

One day, when this topic came, one of our friend told ridiculously, "Budha's statement is illogical! How can we live with out desires?  Is it not death? We are born out of desires only. So, we should analyse our desires and decide whether to keep it or discard it, how can Budha say just like that, "desire is the root cause of misery" as if we should drop all the desires completely". Though I wanted to argue with him, I kept quite, because I did not know the right answer then. How could Budha be wrong?  In Physics, if Albert Einstein tells some scientific theory, don't we believe his words? Later on, we may start our enquiry about how and why.  First, we accept that he knows something better than us.  Even Science requires little faith to move ahead. We should have faith in Spiritual masters in the first place.  Yes, they know something more than us, let me listen to it, and then we can ask, OK, now prove me how it is.  Without knowing anything, criticising the spiritual masters shows that we are, probably not completely ignorant, but half baked.

Knowledge can be gained by following 4 steps according to our ancient system.  Shravana means, reading and listening. Manana, reflecting on it, Nithidhyasa, contemplation , Dhyana, meditating upon it.    I trusted Budha's words and kept dwelling on it time to time.

Desire simply means,  I want something, which I don't have now. Once I have that, then I will be happy.  It means, till I get that, I am going to be unhappy, isn't it?  Desire is always about tomorrow, not now. Suppose, if we are joyful now, will there be any desire? Desire promises happiness in future, but destroys joy NOW. You might have noticed it with some children.  They were playing happily, suddenly, they would demand 'Pizza' or 'Chocolate ice cream'!!!  That's all.  If they can't get their way, they will cry, do tantrums. They will not relax unless they get what they wanted.  Desire is the feverishness of the mind.

If the desires are partially fulfilled, then we desire more and grow greedy. If it is fulfilled, the happiness does not stay for long. Once possessed, the mind will drop the desire very easily and something else will seem to be more desirable ( something more difficult to achieve!) .Unfulfilled desires cause frustration and anger,  it overshadows the intellect and the person even commits sin to fulfill his desire. When a desire arises, first, it takes away the joy in the present.  If it is fulfilled, there is a fear of loosing it. Once lost, the memory of it will be even more painful. Desire is not joyful either in the present or in the past or future.  Is it not our own experience?

If I am satisfied with what I have and desire nothing, how will I progress in  life?

Anything is hurting, if it is so small.  A tiny speck of dust can enter into our eyes and harm us, but a rock can't.  Let me desire for something big. Let me desire for the whole world.  The whole world is mine.  All flowers, animals, people are mine. The earth and sky are also mine. Why desire happiness only for me?  Let me seek happiness for everyone. Why desire for some petty things, which are anyway going to perish in time?  Desire for the highest! Desire to possess Divine Himself!  Why not?

We desire, because we have a lack feeling in us. We want more things to fill the emptiness in us. This is ignorance. We think as if we are so small and the desires are too big. No. We are bigger than our desires, because we only created them. Creator is bigger than the creation, isn't it?

In Patanjali Yoga sutras, Patanjali prescribes some Niyamas (laws or rules) to be adopted to achieve perfection in life. Santhosha or contentment is one among the five Niyamas. Usually, we consider santhosha will come at the end as a result of any achievement, but, Patanjali wants us to be content to start with. It's a basic requirement for any achievement.  Santhosha is not the final destination. Santhosha is to be at peace within and finding contentment even while experiencing life's difficulties for life is nothing but a process of growth through all kinds of circumstances. Accepting that there is a purpose for everything and accept what happens.  It means being happy with what we have rather than being unhappy about what we don't have.

Here is a formula for happiness.

H = 1/d          H = happiness, d = desires.

More the desires, more agitations in the mind.  Happiness is experienced only when the mind is calm and peaceful. One become more creative, effective and efficient when the mind is quiet.  No doubt, he will make progress in life.

Yes, I want to get rid of my desires.  What do I do? Is it possible to 'delete' all my desires?

Desires may arise in our heart, let them arise. Let them not be too heavy like a stone...Let them be soft like snow  flakes. Let me surrender them all to the Divine, and will pray, "Dear Lord, I have offered all my desires to your feet, You fulfil this desire of mine or give me whatever you consider better than this. I will accept anything you give."  If it is conducive to my growth, they will be fulfilled in the right time, or they will drop off.  I am fine with both.

Now....let us sit comfortably...and easily....

Take a deep breath in.... and as you breath out, let go.... and.... just.. RELAX....

With a smile on our face, Let us LOVE and SERVE. :)

Every thing happens for Good only

When some one is undergoing difficult times or facing problems in life, we try to console them by saying, "Whatever happens happens for good only".  It is a very common saying  Everyone says this. When we say this to the other person, we expect them to believe these words.  We want them to stop worrying immediately and relax.  But, it never happens!  They keep on grumbling and complaining and we don't know how to console them.

 I can hear you, " My knee is paining, is it good for me?  I lost my job suddenly, I don't have enough money to run my family, is it good for me?  What do you say?  Something went wrong with my life."  Well, not only others, if something unusual happens to us,  the same advice, in spite of our belief in it, it looks very superficial, we feel that we have a reason to worry. why do we keep on saying this advice to ourselves and others?  Does it mean anything?

Let us first understand, What is Good?  Good is something that helps us to grow, to evolve.  Life is  growth. A small child grows to become adult. We were just 3 kilos when we were born, now 60 kilos, 70 kilos... We went to school, passed from 5th to 6th.. 10th to 12th, to college...married...got children..  It is all growth.  No one reduce to smaller from bigger as the time pass by.   We were living in a small old house,  now, we moved to a big luxurious flat, we had a small scooter, now, we have got a beautiful latest model car.   Whenever we experience expansion, evolution and growth, life feels good.

Two days back, when I was talking over phone with my brother who is living in US, he was sharing his dream for  future. He said, "I would like to have a land in my home place, build a small comfortable house, one or two cows and buffaloes for milk, lying on a cot made up of ropes outside the house, counting the stars... I'll spend my days  in old age happily.  This is his dream.  I replied to him, "Dear, you made a mistake, our father always used to tell us, "Study well children, get good marks, you will get good job and earn good money, then you can enjoy life...otherwise, I'll buy you two buffaloes right now, you should take them to grass, feed them and clean them, you yourself decide which one you want".  We should have made the right decision.  We need not have put so much effort to buy two buffaloes which our father himself wanted to buy for us freely.We missed it. ".   He laughed at this joke.  Our parents and grand parents had already lived in the way what we now longing for.  They had everything, perhaps, not very well educated or affluent like us. Even, they did not seem to be contented.  We have got good education and made progress in life. Are we happy and contented now?  Big question mark!  Sitting in a BMW, we are worried.  Is it expansion?  Is it growth?

Yesterday we had a honourable guest at our home.  He was sharing one of his childhood event.  When he was in the middle school, the teacher was describing about how Japan survived through the bomb blast and how it made progress in spite of all the devastation.  Our friend got so much inspired by the story.  He asked the teacher, "Sir,will India also become like Japan if we put bomb?".  The teacher smiled and answered, "No, it is not possible, we have to work hard and improve our quality of products to excel".  Again, he stood up and asked the teacher if he can go and visit those places, Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Suddenly all the students in the class laughed and made fun of him, "See, you don't even have chappals to wear, how can you go to Japan?, better drop this idea".   They ridiculed him.  He felt very bad. The teacher patted on his shoulders and said, "You can go to Japan if you study well and become an engineer.  You can learn techniques, produce best products and  serve India to be the best". This incidence made a big change in his life.  He studied sincerely to become an engineer.  Now he is excelling in textile industry and his products are competing in international market.  Of course, he got chance to visit Japan many times and established a good business there.

Just turn back and see how all our difficulties had made us stronger.  We can give lot more examples from our own experiences,isn't it?

The seemingly unpleasant events ultimately lead to greater goodness. A flower loses its petals to become a fruit.  Pushed into water, we may struggle for a while, but we will learn how to swim and come out of it.  Our talents and virtues grow by handling difficult situations.  If we get a promotion or a salary raise, obviously we will feel happy.  Suppose, if we don't get the expected promotion,we need not worry. Perhaps, life may be trying to make us stronger by teaching the virtue of 'Acceptance'.   If we get any health problems, it means, life wants us to have 'Discrimination' in food and cultivate 'Discipline' in our activities.   If we miss somebody or struggling hard in a relationship, the suffering will bring out  'Detachment' and true love. When we feel lack of money, probably, it is the time, we have to feel 'Generous'.

Love, Compassion, Generosity, Acceptance, Respect for others, Kindness and a Feeling of Contentment are the nature of Spirit.  Developing these qualities brings progress with in. Wealth, Prosperity, Abundance, Comforts are the achievements of the materialistic world.  Both are essential for our growth. Whatever be the situation we are in, however pleasant or unpleasant it could be,  it is either meant for inner expansion or for outer growth, because, the nature of life is to evolve.

 Pleasant events broaden our horizons, while unpleasant events bring depth. Life makes us grow vaster and deeper with every event.  This is evolution....expansion.

A supreme power governs the whole Universe with such a perfection and it governs our life too. Let us have this trust strong in our heart, "Life gives me the best always, All is for my growth only."

Why should I worry then?

Wow!  What a great relief this faith brings!!!

About Me

My name is Parameswari, Spiritual seeker and devoted to Truth.

The one question that bothers us the most, yet, able to take us to the Divine status is about "Me".  All depends on how we ask the question.  If we keep on asking, "What about me, what about me?" all the time, sooner, we will get depressed.  No doubt about it!  But suppose, if we ask the same question with a small twist, "What am I, who am I? What do I do? ", and dwell in the question for some time, it will open up new avenues in our life.  One question leads to distress, another question leads to Divinity.  

From childhood onwards, my inclination was to know about what is life? what am I? Who is God?,  Why there is suffering in this world?  etc., My family background is not orthodox or spiritual, but we lived a simple,  ordinary, middle class life in a town called Mettur in Tamil Nadu.  We never read any scriptures or not serious about any rituals.  For me, spirituality was more attractive than any other games and entertainment.   Ram was my ideal hero, Krishna was enchanting,...Bhakthi of Andal was admiring...  I got introduced to Ramayan only through the old TV serial (Arun Govil).  Though it is a TV program, it made lot of personality changes in me.  We start imbibing those qualities we think about a lot, isn't it?

I collected many books of many authors.  They all helped me to get a better understanding. I had been  associated with few spiritual organizations and learnt Yoga, meditation, Breathing practices to purify the mind, got introduced to Vedanta and Bhagavad Gita. All helped me to live relatively a healthy and happy life. Also, started sharing my understanding, helping people giving training in yoga and spiritual counseling.  But, my seeking never stopped.

A great fortune dawned on me when I stumbled on a YouTube video of a great saint and living master Acharya Prashant. It has changed my life completely.  I have understood the bitter truth that all that I have acquired has just come from outside.  I had been exposed to the fact that I had been buried under the deep deep conditioning of society and biology and confined myself in identities.  This realization has touched my life deeply and all my illusions are destroyed.  There is nothing one can long for than a perfect master. With his love and light, my life has started moving towards the ultimate goal of human life, that is, "Liberation".

The greatest help one can do to other is to uplift their state of mind.  Being a home maker and mother of two teen age children, living away from home country, rarely I get chance to meet people and even if people come together, it is rare to get people with same interest.  So, I started this blog to share those lessons I learnt, not only spiritual, but about health, cooking, yoga, raising up children, relationship issues etc.. I am not a scholar in any field, but a simple woman folk, who aspires to make life more beautiful and loveful.  I like to see people more happy, drop their differences and celebrate the oneness... I like to have a one world family.

I have chosen this topic, because, I like this word Shreyas so much.  We have two path in front of us every moment, take us to completely opposite direction, one is path of Shreyas and another is path of Preyas. That which gives immediate pleasure is path of Preyas. But, will give long term problems. That which is not charming to start with, but leads to a greater happiness is the path of Shreyas.  We usually choose the path of Preyas only.  One path leads to Heaven and other to Hell.  Choice is ours. :)

I write these posts for my satisfaction only.  I don't have intentions to guide others.  If we have seen some great movie, we would call our friends and recommend them to watch it, isn't it?  It is natural human tendency.  In the same way, I like to share the knowledge with you.

with love,
Parameswari Kumar.